I was feeling so good last week, like I was on top of the world. I had just interviewed for the job of my dreams, and my optimism was untouchable...or so I thought.
Until I got the email that changed everything. My bubble of optimism popped, just like that, as I skimmed along the body of the email and learned...I didn’t get it. They had offered it to someone else. My stomach sank, along with my mood...to tell the truth, I felt just awful.
Things don’t always go the way we want. As much as we might read about the law of attraction, ultimately, some things seem to be out of our control. Deep breath...
I knew I needed to turn things around, but first, I had to deal with what was real and what was present for me. I came up with these five invaluable steps to coping with disappointing events.
One...Feel it to Heal It.
This has been one of my mantras lately. "Feel it to heal it" is simple and powerful, which according to expert Sonia Choquette in her beautiful book on manifesting, is exactly what affirmations should be, to reach the subconsious mind. I’m probably not the first to think of this affirmation, but it came to me out of thin air one day, and I really like it.
Think about it...how can we possibly hope to heal, if we don’t first stop to get in touch with how we are feeling? Suppressing emotions does no good at all in the long run.
I’m reading a book by David Hawkins, called Letting Go, that my friend Laurie Elle turned me on to, with an urgent, “you need to read this book.” In the book, Dawkins describes his simple process for letting go. It begins with allowing the emotion to come up, and run its course. He compares it to draining water; if we don’t let the water out, it simply stays, and can fester. If we do drain it, it will run itself out and then be gone. It’s a powerful process for dealing with challenging emotions. Why not give it a try?
So I let myself have a good cry, and really feel how badly I had wanted that job, and how crushed I felt at being overlooked. It hurt, more than I like to admit. And what’s more, it brought up lots of past hurt feelings I associated with it...with my fear of failing. Read last week’s post about this fear here.
So what to do with these thoughts?
Two...Let Those Negative Thoughts Go!
Be nice to yourself, dammit! Why is this so hard for us? We’ve just had a major disappointment, things feel really challenging so...let’s beat ourselves up? No! And yet, this often seems to be my first response. “You failed, how could you have been so hopeful, you should have tried harder,” blah blah blah, NOT helpful, inner critic.
So bench that inner critic, and cultivate a kind inner voice. My mom’s favorite bit of advice in these situations is to imagine we are speaking to someone else, a friend or family member, and they have just been really let down about something. What do we say to them? Kind, encouraging things! Let’s talk to ourselves in the same way, and kick those nasty negative thougths to the curb.
Three...Give Yourself Space
Hey...it’s ok to take some time to heal. I know this is the digital age and everything is instant, instant, but...we are organic, we have hearts that are really sensitive, and not getting what we want can be very painful. It’s important to honor your process, and this ties back to step one.
My urge is that I need to be better already...it’s been a few days since I got the news, but the truth is, I’m still adjusting to it. The bright shiny future I had been imagining was suddenly snatched away, and I have to re-adjust.
Buddha says that attachment is the cause of suffering, but until we are fully enlightened beings, guess what? We are gonna get caught in the trap of attachment, and it’s gonna hurt! So give yourself space to process and release.
Ok, not really, but this feels like a great time to be kind to myself; to take that hot bath, write in my journal, and listen to Snatam Kaur (who I saw in concert last night...so healing and heart opening!) Click this link to enjoy her healing sounds. Extra little things like this are very nourishing, and can help to ease the healing process. (hello, chocolate? clearly invented for these moments.)
Five...Remember What You Really Want
Mystic poet Rumi says, “let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
Deep breath again. So...why did I want that job? It wasn’t the exact job that I needed. My soul is on a mission, and it feels urgent, as many lightworkers report. This beautiful letter for a lightworker from the amazing Rebecca reminded me of this.
I can’t know exactly how my path will look, but I do know I’m being propelled forth by my heart. My very soul is aching to find meaningful work and be of service to humanity. My passion for compassion and awakening is so real to me, so vivid, and I long to share it with the world.
So I’ll reset my compass, and go back to the drawing board again, and keep job hunting, keep trying to manifest the career and life I truly want...because I know that I’m worth it.
So, don’t give up on yourself, but recall what your true desire and purpose is, and keep moving towards it! I have faith that we will get there, and that the journey is the important thing...
I have so much faith in you,
PS Tell me what you think! Have you experienced disappointment lately? If so, how did you deal with it? Do you feel like your soul is on a mission? <3
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Hi, I'm Jessie A...
I'm an energy healer with a passion for compassion, a sparkly love affair with crystals, and a deep commitment to evolving awareness.